


Breaking Up

by Joe_Reaves



Series: Jealousy [2]
Category: Primeval
Genre: Angst, Break Up, Established Relationship, Jealousy, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-04-15
Updated: 2010-04-15
Packaged: 2017-10-08 23:25:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,173
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/80576
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Joe_Reaves/pseuds/Joe_Reaves
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nick lets his doubts influence his behaviour.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Breaking Up

Stephen was lying in the hospital bed, wondering what heartless moron designed hospital gowns so that they show your ass whenever you move. His last trip to the bathroom had left him with a devoted following of nurses which might have been nice if he was still single, but he wasn't. Unfortunately, since he and Nick were keeping their relationship quiet, he lacked an obvious significant other to distract the nurses with. He'd had to resort to his 'girlfriend in South America' again. He was fairly certain he'd told more people about her today than during the two months he actually had been dating her.

His head was aching like... well, like he'd been trampled by a herd of twenty foot tall herbivorous dinosaurs. They'd given him some pain killers but he knew from past experience that they weren't much use and would just make his head cloudy and cause him to wake up tomorrow with a hangover so he hadn't bothered taking them. Besides Nick would be here soon and he could smile at the nurses and say something in his sexy accent and they'd let him stay the night. It's not like they could claim he'd be disturbing Stephen since he was going to be woken up every couple of hours anyway so they could check his eyes and ask stupid questions about the day of the week and how many fingers they were holding up.

Connor and Abby had popped in briefly after he'd sent Nick home to get him some clothes for tomorrow, and their concern had been nice but after a while it had just got annoying and he'd told them to go home, pleading a headache and promising he'd be fine until Nick got there. Connor had said something about a date and Abby had glared at him like she was looking for an excuse to practice her kick-boxing on him. He was going to have to try and find out what was going on there at some point but he'd been distracted by his burgeoning relationship with Nick and with Helen's increasingly frequent visits to his flat.

He knew he should have refused to help her that first time but she'd needed someone to patch her up. She was out there all on her own and he felt sorry for her. Sure she'd been sleeping with both Nick and him before her disappearance and he was always going to feel bad about that but in the end they'd both turned her down and they had each other now. Helen didn't have anyone and while he knew deep down that that had been her choice – Nick wouldn't have split up with her if she hadn't vanished for eight years, leaving him with no idea if she was dead or alive – he still felt pity for her. He should have told someone but the ARC people would just try and detain her again and when it came down to it she'd done some shitty things, but none of them had been illegal and he wouldn't trust the ARC with custody of a goldfish, let alone Helen.

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. He was brooding again; he was doing that a lot recently, whenever he was on his own. He hoped Nick got back soon, he always knew how to get Stephen out of one of his moods. As if his thoughts had summoned the man he heard a familiar tread in the corridor and the well-loved brogue as he spoke to the nurses. Stephen looked up and smiled as the door was pushed open and Nick came in, dropping the bag carelessly beside the bed. Then his smile froze at Nick's expression.

"You're sleeping with Helen again!" Nick growled.

"What?" Stephen blinked up at him wondering if he'd been hit harder than he thought and he was imagining things. "No! Why would you say that?"

"She was in your flat when I got there," Nick bit out. "In your bed. Naked. Waiting for you to get home."

"I'm not! I wouldn't ..." he stammered. How could Nick believe he'd do something like that? He'd made a mistake, nine years ago when he was young and naïve. He wasn't that stupid any more and he'd never cheat on Nick. Anyone with eyes could see he'd do anything for Nick. Considering the number of times he'd ended up in a hospital bed because of it he was pretty certain most of the nursing staff would testify to that too. "If I'd been sleeping with her I'd hardly have sent you over there to find her, would I?" He tried using logic to cut through Nick's anger, but it wasn't working.

"Maybe you thought it was the easiest way to tell me," Nick said coldly. "You couldn't find a moment in the last nine years to tell me about your affair the first time around. Besides I saw her, Stephen, she was perfectly at home there."

"She's been there before," Stephen admitted. "But I'm not having an affair with her. She turns up occasionally when she needs help and I patch her up, let her use the shower and get a hot meal and then I send her on her way. That's all."

Nick snorted. "Yes, she told me all about how it started. She was hurting and you just had to be the dashing hero and patch her up, take care of her ... one thing led to another. She went into detail. She thinks you're good in bed, by the way. Adventurous. Better than me," he added, his mouth twisting in disgust.

"Then she's insane," Stephen said firmly. "Because I haven't slept with her in nine years and I'm pretty certain that at twenty-three I wasn't at all good in bed. Nick, I swear I'm not having sex with Helen. Don't you trust me?"

"Oh, of course! Why wouldn't I?" Nick snarled. "You had an affair with my wife last time she was around and now you're letting her wander around your flat like she owns the place. At work you're fighting with me and siding with bloody Lester when he fires me. No, I can't imagine why I would have any trouble trusting you, Stephen."

"That's not fair!" Stephen shouted at him. "You're right I messed up at work, but you admit yourself you had no actual evidence to prove you were right, just a hunch, and Abby was gone and I was just trying to get her back. You just kept saying you had a hunch and that was what got her killed in the first place and Connor was falling apart and what the hell did you expect me to do?" He ran his hand through his hair. "What do you want me to say, Nick? I'm not sleeping with anyone but you. Damn it, I love you! I can't make you believe me. If all you're going to do is accuse me of cheating on you, maybe you can leave. My head is pounding and I'm not going to get any sleep anyway thanks to the nurses checking on me so I'd like some quiet." He rolled over, turning his back on Nick and lay there, unmoving, praying Nick would come to his senses and apologise.

"You know if you're trying to convince someone you're not being unfaithful it's a really bad idea to make a sudden declaration of love in the middle of your defence," Nick scoffed. "Makes you sound like you're overcompensating." He could feel Nick's eyes on him but he didn't give into the urge to turn back and look at him again. He wouldn't cheat on anyone like that, but he especially would never betray Nick like that. Helen already had, he would never make Nick go through that again. Nick's shadow stretched over him and his hand came into view as he laid Stephen's keys and wallet down on the table. The copy he had given Nick was with them too and his chest tightened at the finality in that gesture. Nick's hand hovered over his shoulder for a moment and then pulled back. "Goodbye, Stephen," he said softly.

He walked out of the room, his steps echoing through the hallway with what sounded to Stephen like crushing finality. He rubbed his hand over his face; he wasn't going to cry and he certainly wasn't going to do it here where anyone could see him. He wrapped his arms around himself and closed his eyes, hoping he could fall asleep and forget what just happened. It wasn't fair. He'd made a mistake, nine years ago, and he was still paying for it. Nick would never trust him, that much was clear, and helping Helen had been the last straw, the final thing that convinced him he wasn't worth the effort.

He rolled over again and stared up at the ceiling. He'd never cheated on a partner in his life and he certainly wouldn't start with Nick. He'd thought they were on the same page, but obviously Nick didn't believe that Stephen was in love with him. Presumably that meant Nick didn't feel the same way. He wouldn't have walked out so easily if he did. Maybe it was best he found out now before he fell even harder and got his heart broken by a second Cutter. He sighed again, bit too late for that unfortunately. What was it about him and Cutters? Every time either of them gave him the slightest bit of encouragement he would fall for them, give them everything he had, and then they'd leave without a backward glance. He'd thought Helen was bad enough, but in retrospect he hadn't been in love with her, just flattered by the attentions of an intelligent, older woman who didn't treat him like a student but an equal. And the sex had been fantastic. He hadn't been lying when he'd told Nick he didn't think he'd been all that great in bed, but Helen had been and she'd been willing to teach him everything he wanted to know. What man of that age wouldn't have thought himself in love with a woman like that? Then she'd left and he'd seen what her disappearance had done to Nick and he'd realised that he hadn't been in love with her, not like Nick had been, and he'd felt even more guilty about the affair.

And now Nick was gone too. At least he wasn't going to vanish off the face of the planet, although Stephen wasn't sure whether that was a good or bad thing. He'd be able to see Nick every day at the university and the ARC, see and not touch, talk to but not kiss, be a colleague but never a friend or lover again. He closed his eyes miserably, just wanting this night to be over so he could go home and brood. He'd drink some of Nick's favourite scotch and lock himself away until he felt better or more likely until Connor's detector went off and they were off chasing dinosaurs again.

*****

 

The next day dawned cloudy and grey, with a rumble of thunder in evidence and rain that was coming down in sheets, falling sideways, upside down, and around corners in the way that only British rain seemed to have perfected. He grabbed his bag, signed the forms that would let him leave, and then called a taxi. He wasn't going to wait to see who Nick had persuaded to come and collect him, he didn't trust him not to have ordered whoever it was to report back on Stephen's mood.

When he walked into his flat he was confronted with the sight of the unmade bed, sheets still rumpled from Helen's unannounced visit. He couldn't deal with it right now, not so soon after last night's fight, so he tossed his bag on the couch, made sure his keys were safely in his pocket and left again, slamming the door behind him with a satisfying bang. He hadn't picked up a coat and by the time he'd gone a few yards from the front door he was soaked to the skin, his shirt clinging to him and his jeans uncomfortable and heavy. He put his head down and kept walking. He didn't want to go back to the flat right now and be forced to face Helen's scheming or the fact that his lover, ex-lover, wasn't there with him.

He walked down to the river which was dull and grey and seemed to match his mood perfectly. Leaning on the railing along the edge of the path he put one foot up and stared down into the water, not really thinking about anything, just watching the river flow past and wallowing in his misery. He missed Nick already and it had been less than twelve hours, he didn't know how he was going to make it through the rest of the day, let alone the week, month, year, rest of his life.


End file.
